Friday, August 30, 2013

2 Mile Walk/Run

Today, I I'vearted joining my next-between that and the walk/run, I've taken over 10,000 steps today!neighbor, Jessica, for a 2 mile walk/run!  OMG, rough towards the end but, I made it!!! :D  woohoo!  This is her 3rd day and my first... but, since today is Friday and Monday is Labor Day, we won't do it again until Tuesday.  Sweating my a$$ off!  ha ha ha  My cheeks are hot and red!   hehe  But, I NEED this!!!  I weigh 152 lbs this morning!!!  argh!  Now, it could be pre-menstrual weight too... but... still... way TOO much!

I had thought about fasting again... was going to do it this week, but, Jeremy took his vacation and was home all week and didn't want me to... so, we could go eat lunch together :D hehe  It's been nice :))

I'll see how this walk/run goes and think about fasting... I don't know if I should fast while doing that though... probably not a good idea... 

Before and After pictures???  IDK... I HATE my body right now... but, maybe I will for my own incentive if I need it in the future.

Well, I've mowed half the yard and between that and the walk/run this morning, I've taken 10,000 steps! :-D

Wednesday, August 14, 2013


Ok, so, I've decided to do this workout:

Today will be my 3rd day; yeah, haven't done it yet (but will start it in a few minutes).
OMG!  My legs are sore!!! LOL  Wow!!!
I miss that though!
I'm not thinking I'll lose 10 lbs in 2 wks... but, I do think I will have made a difference in my appearance in that time!  And, hopefully, I can continue doing this until it gets easy and I find another, more challenging workout!
I really HATE being as big as I am without being pregnant!
OH yeah, I wanted to mention that in order to do the jumping jacks and running in place, I am wearing 2 bras!!!  Otherwise, WAY too much movement in the chest area to be comfortable doing that!

Saturday, August 03, 2013

Wants & Needs

I want to lose weight... I'm now like 150lbs... I don't even know how it happens...

I NEED to lose weight... I feel better (physically & emotionally).

How?  Exercise, of course!  I really, really, really need to get on a regular exercise schedule!  I just feel too blah to do it... why do I feel blah?  BECAUSE I'm overweight!  Because I am in a depressed state of mind because of what I look like!  How did I get to this weight?  Because I was happy at being 135lbs and didn't do anything to maintain that weight because I thought it would magically stay that way if I wished it would!  I need to get out of my imaginary world and do something!

Another thing?  It's kind of secret... I really want another baby... I don't know if this is a passing phase or what... But, it's also something that I'm fighting inside myself too because even though I would love (and have always seen myself with) more children... I do enjoy my free time when they're at school and I do enjoy their growing independence.  And I can finally read books again - having a baby/toddler really makes this hard because they demand so much time and energy as well as their little hands constantly grabbing the book.

I have even read up on what makes your pregnancy "high-risk"... I mean, just because you're over 35, you're automatically put in the "high-risk" category; which is just insane, in my opinion.  I've looked up about having a Down's Syndrome child... usually happens because of something inherited from the parents (I know of no blood-related Down's child on either side) and low folic acid.  I've been taking folic acid :)

My children always talk about me having another baby.  They're all for it.  They're the ones who bring it up.  I don't discuss it with them... I mean, I actually tell them the negatives (my age, their age differences) and they aren't concerned about that.  I actually think it would be a good learning experience for my girls -because should I have another, they'll be older and understand the ramifications of them having children and may even cause them to postpone having children until they're in their 20's or so! lol.

I sometimes think that my body gaining weight for no reason is because it's been ready to carry another child.  I had started gaining weight back (after getting to my good, prenatal weight) around the time Wyatt was 2 yrs old.  Ever since then, it's been a roller coaster of me being at a good weight and me being overweight :(

As I've said earlier, I've always seen myself with more children.  Even as a child, I always envisioned myself surrounded by lots of kids.  One of things I wanted to be as a kid, was a hospital nursery nurse; so, I could hold those babies and give them love.  Why didn't I have more children?  Well, because Jeremy & I had such a rocky relationship for such a long time (like 10 yrs) :(  The times I conceived were in those times we were doing better... but, when it was bad, it was bad and I'd just think, "How can I justify bringing another child into a family such as ours?"  So, I wouldn't get pregnant.  It was really bad.  And I really didn't see it getting any better.  However, things have changed and we've been doing really well for like 5 yrs!  Thankfully!  And me wanting another child has nothing to do with celebrating that; although, I think it would be a totally different labor and delivery than before...

One more thing... I've had 2 readings.  One was when Ursula was a toddler and one when Wyatt was a baby.  One was runes and the other were playing cards.  Both times, they showed me with 5 children!  How weird is that?  And the one with the playing cards showed possibly twin boys.

Of course, I'll be totally fine with having my three children.  I love seeing them grow, change, and mature.

Maybe, perhaps, this too, shall pass :)