I'm finally getting some energy back! Yay! So, I'm going through things, little by little... but, its getting done. I'm sleeping somewhat better... even though my hip still tingles and goes numb... but, another good thing that's helping me sleep is that Ursula isn't waking up to nurse! yay! That's majorly helpful!
After this baby is born, I'm really going to go through stuff... clothes mainly... esp. after I lose the baby weight.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Friday, July 29, 2005
Last Weekend
Was just awful. I won't be getting into the ugly details... but... it involved Jeremy being drunk both Friday and Saturday nights. Friday night was the worst. I had the phone in my hand to call my sister, Angele, to pick me, the girls, and my stuff up in her truck for Saturday morning. Jeremy grabbed the phone from my hand and threw it to the floor. And yes, my sister, Cherie, her 3 girls, and my mom were all here last Friday. So, they were all witness to the events of that night and so forth. I told him Sunday that I'd rather him smoke 3 cartons a week than to drink alcohol. He looked at me kind of strangely... he knows how much I HATE him smoking.
On to this week and today.
Jeremy hasn't brought home a beer at all since Sunday. He told me today that he has smoked prolly once a day or so... he said that there's studies done that shows that those who quit cold turkey usually end up smoking again whereas those who cut back have greater success in stopping altogether. I have no qualms with him smoking once a day. Better than 20x a day.
But, what I'm really happy about is NOT seeing beer in his hands everyday. That man just CANNOT handle drinking. Not to mention ALL the times he's come home AFTER drinking already!!! Like he didn't have a DWI already that it took him a year and way too much money to finish up with! PLUS our 'new' car that he's driving that still isn't paid off... I mean, we have the title, but, we used MY visa to buy it... under MY name... not his. And, I just know from past instances, if its totalled and he hasn't paid it off, he won't... and there goes the start of my 'good' credit history... distroyed.
To make things even worse... we STILL haven't gotten that settlement money from his accident way back in March! He missed over 2 months of work and we're 2 mths behind on bills! When is this money going to come to us? I'm trying not to stress out about the bills... and I know that (the bills piling up)just makes it worse for Jeremy. And I know that's one reason why he'd drink beers after work... but... he needs to figure out another way to handle his stress.
I can't take what happened last weekend again... and I won't. I will definitely leave with our children... if only temporarily until he can figure out what's his problem(s) and deal with them... and also until he figures out what he'll be losing if he does what he did again.
On to this week and today.
Jeremy hasn't brought home a beer at all since Sunday. He told me today that he has smoked prolly once a day or so... he said that there's studies done that shows that those who quit cold turkey usually end up smoking again whereas those who cut back have greater success in stopping altogether. I have no qualms with him smoking once a day. Better than 20x a day.
But, what I'm really happy about is NOT seeing beer in his hands everyday. That man just CANNOT handle drinking. Not to mention ALL the times he's come home AFTER drinking already!!! Like he didn't have a DWI already that it took him a year and way too much money to finish up with! PLUS our 'new' car that he's driving that still isn't paid off... I mean, we have the title, but, we used MY visa to buy it... under MY name... not his. And, I just know from past instances, if its totalled and he hasn't paid it off, he won't... and there goes the start of my 'good' credit history... distroyed.
To make things even worse... we STILL haven't gotten that settlement money from his accident way back in March! He missed over 2 months of work and we're 2 mths behind on bills! When is this money going to come to us? I'm trying not to stress out about the bills... and I know that (the bills piling up)just makes it worse for Jeremy. And I know that's one reason why he'd drink beers after work... but... he needs to figure out another way to handle his stress.
I can't take what happened last weekend again... and I won't. I will definitely leave with our children... if only temporarily until he can figure out what's his problem(s) and deal with them... and also until he figures out what he'll be losing if he does what he did again.
Patton's to China for Bria
Patton's to China for Bria
A blog from someone on the Winter2005Mamas email list. She's also adopting a baby from China.
A blog from someone on the Winter2005Mamas email list. She's also adopting a baby from China.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Yay For Jeremy
Its Thursday morning, and he hasn't smoked since Monday morning! Yay for him! This looks promising! He still goes outside to sit... routine :D Hey, that's fine with me! I like sitting out there too, sometimes... when its not too blistering hot :D
What KoL Monster Are You?
You're a Knob Goblin Elite Guardsman!
You blast through quests with your impressive
stats, powerful armor, and spiffy swords.
You're probably on some sort of leaderboard,
and probably in some sort of anger management
class ordered by the courts.
Which Kingdom of Loathing monster are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Finally Finished with Court
YAY! Although Jeremy had to miss yet another day of work :( But, at least this is over for good! The judge dismissed it and the girls and I are still on Medicaid :D
And the girls did really well. We were there from 9am, broke an hour for lunch, and left @ 1:30pm. So, for never having to sit for so long and be quiet, they did really well. I did sit out in the hall for about an hour before lunch... they were getting too antsy and I didn't want them to disrupt others... nor did I want them to continue getting fussed as much.
The court was pretty laid back. Strange, really. In fact, when the judge walked in, the bailiff asked everyone to please be seated... aren't you supposed to stand until the judge tells you to sit?
When we got up there, finally, the people sitting around the semi-circle desk (took up the width of the room) were all smiling at my girls :D hehe And when we finished, they talked to them a little bit and told them good-bye :D Ursula told them all 'bye' :D I know she was ready to get out of there!
In the car, on the way home, she asked if we were going to Mimi and Papa's house :D hehe
And the girls did really well. We were there from 9am, broke an hour for lunch, and left @ 1:30pm. So, for never having to sit for so long and be quiet, they did really well. I did sit out in the hall for about an hour before lunch... they were getting too antsy and I didn't want them to disrupt others... nor did I want them to continue getting fussed as much.
The court was pretty laid back. Strange, really. In fact, when the judge walked in, the bailiff asked everyone to please be seated... aren't you supposed to stand until the judge tells you to sit?
When we got up there, finally, the people sitting around the semi-circle desk (took up the width of the room) were all smiling at my girls :D hehe And when we finished, they talked to them a little bit and told them good-bye :D Ursula told them all 'bye' :D I know she was ready to get out of there!
In the car, on the way home, she asked if we were going to Mimi and Papa's house :D hehe
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Jeremy's Attempt
to stop smoking began yesterday.
He told me, around 8pm last night that he hadn't smoked in 9 hrs. So, I asked him, "what? you ran out? lost them?" He said 'no' that he had told me Sunday that he was gonna try to stop this week. I know he didn't tell me that, I would have remembered such a conversation... esp. after all these years of wanting him to stop smoking... and having given up asking him, I would have been overjoyed to hear that.
So, he was crabby since he got home from work yesterday and this morning, he left the door open after he went to work!!! AGAIN! Enough for someone to walk into my house and God knows do whatever...
I mean, I just don't get it. If I had some habit that was taking money away from my family while we're in dire straits, I would have kicked them a long time ago. So, here have the gas money for Jeremy to go to and from work is like $50/wk. That, he needs to spend being that how we get money, so, its understandable.
THEN, one pack of cigarettes a day... let's say that's an average price of $3.75 (prolly low) which comes out to $26.25/wk. THEN beer... lord knows how much he drinks a day... hard to estimate that. Let's see... he gets the cheapest beer... I think its like $1.25/each. So, let's say he drinks 2 or 3 of them a day. I'll say 3 because sometimes he goes back to the store to get more. Wow, that comes out to $26.25/wk too! So, that's $52.50 in vices, at least, a week.... comes out to $210/mth. Hmm.... I think with that $200/mth, we could catch up on all those really past due bills... don't ya think? NOT TO MENTION THE FACT that I NEED new bras!!!! Desperately! And when you have to buy the size I need, they don't come cheap! Calista is gonna need new shirts, at the least, for school, that starts Aug. 11th. as well as other supplies.
Yeah, guess I'm ranting today... so much for my 'mostly harmless' title :D
He told me, around 8pm last night that he hadn't smoked in 9 hrs. So, I asked him, "what? you ran out? lost them?" He said 'no' that he had told me Sunday that he was gonna try to stop this week. I know he didn't tell me that, I would have remembered such a conversation... esp. after all these years of wanting him to stop smoking... and having given up asking him, I would have been overjoyed to hear that.
So, he was crabby since he got home from work yesterday and this morning, he left the door open after he went to work!!! AGAIN! Enough for someone to walk into my house and God knows do whatever...
I mean, I just don't get it. If I had some habit that was taking money away from my family while we're in dire straits, I would have kicked them a long time ago. So, here have the gas money for Jeremy to go to and from work is like $50/wk. That, he needs to spend being that how we get money, so, its understandable.
THEN, one pack of cigarettes a day... let's say that's an average price of $3.75 (prolly low) which comes out to $26.25/wk. THEN beer... lord knows how much he drinks a day... hard to estimate that. Let's see... he gets the cheapest beer... I think its like $1.25/each. So, let's say he drinks 2 or 3 of them a day. I'll say 3 because sometimes he goes back to the store to get more. Wow, that comes out to $26.25/wk too! So, that's $52.50 in vices, at least, a week.... comes out to $210/mth. Hmm.... I think with that $200/mth, we could catch up on all those really past due bills... don't ya think? NOT TO MENTION THE FACT that I NEED new bras!!!! Desperately! And when you have to buy the size I need, they don't come cheap! Calista is gonna need new shirts, at the least, for school, that starts Aug. 11th. as well as other supplies.
Yeah, guess I'm ranting today... so much for my 'mostly harmless' title :D
Monday, July 18, 2005
Recent Dreams
One dream was about this alligator chasing me while I'm holding Ursula. I just could not run... its like I was running slower than I walk! I finally jumped into a white car with a open roof (in my dream, it was a VW Jetta) and thought we were safe... I was catching my breath when I saw that doggone alligator climbing up the side of the car! So, I waited until he got up higher and I opened the door and ran as fast as I could inside a house... seemed to have been my Nanna's house.
Another dream, we were at an airport and I thought I had seen my Nanna and Pawpaw standing together, like waiting in line to go on vacation or something. So, I left the group I was in and went up to them. My Nanna seemed way taller than she was when she was alive. She was 4'10 when she was alive and in my dream, I had to look up to her (I'm barely 5'2"). I got in front of them, to get a good look at them and immediately, my Nanna greeted me and I went hug her around the neck. I can't recall exact words. But, I think I told her how happy I was to see her. At some point I went up to my mom and told her to go see them and she said that they were the wrong ages... I told her to remember that they'd be the age that she knew them at.... or maybe at the age they wanted to be... like 30 yrs old.
Another dream, we were at an airport and I thought I had seen my Nanna and Pawpaw standing together, like waiting in line to go on vacation or something. So, I left the group I was in and went up to them. My Nanna seemed way taller than she was when she was alive. She was 4'10 when she was alive and in my dream, I had to look up to her (I'm barely 5'2"). I got in front of them, to get a good look at them and immediately, my Nanna greeted me and I went hug her around the neck. I can't recall exact words. But, I think I told her how happy I was to see her. At some point I went up to my mom and told her to go see them and she said that they were the wrong ages... I told her to remember that they'd be the age that she knew them at.... or maybe at the age they wanted to be... like 30 yrs old.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
What Does My Birth Date Mean?
Your Birthdate: April 27 |
Your birth on the 27th day of the month (9 energy) adds a tone of selflessness and humanitarianism to your life path. Certainly, you are one who can work very well with people, but at the same time you need a good bit of time to be by yourself to rest and meditate. There is a very humanistic and philanthropic approach in most of things that you do. This birthday helps you be broadminded, tolerant, generous and very cooperative. You are the type of person who uses persuasion rather than force to achieve your ends. You tend to be very sensitive to others' needs and feelings, and you able to give much in the way of friendship without expecting a lot in return. |
The Keys To My Heart
I have to say, this one is pretty good :D
The Keys to Your Heart |
You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. |
In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. |
You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. |
You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. |
Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. |
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. |
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. |
In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted. |
How American Are You?
| You Are 77% American |
 Tough and independent, you think big. You love everything about the US, wrong or right. And anyone who criticizes your home better not do it in front of you! |
Monday, July 04, 2005
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